The People Pleaser

I haven’t posted anything in a while because of school but it feels so good to be doing what I love once again.

One thing I’ve noticed in me and in many other people is that we try so hard to please people and get approval and this reminds me of a story I once heard – The old man, his son and their donkey.

These three were walking to a town. A group of women passed by and looked at the man in disbelief calling him a wicked man for making his son walk such a long distance. The old man quickly apologized and placed the boy on the donkey and they went on.

They passed a group of old men who looked at the boy in disbelief calling him a rude and disrespectful child for making his father walk while he rode the donkey. He quickly apologized and told his father to join him on the donkey and they went on.

They approached a market square and the people looked at them in disbelief because of the amount of weight they put on the poor donkey. They quickly apologized, tied the donkey’s legs to a stick and carried their donkey the rest of the journey.

They made their way to a bridge over the sea and the donkey began to shake.

It fell over.

It drowned.

It died.

If you try to please everyone, you’ll die, sorry fail miserably 🙂

Pleasing everyone pleases nobody, but pleasing yourself pleases somebody (so why live your life trying to please others??)

I know what pleasing everyone feels like,

It feels like I’m being torn apart trying to make them happy.

No, it’s more like making them like me.

Parts of begin to change, parts of me that made me unique and different begin to melt into a key that fits into the locks of their doors.

I don’t know why I do it, I actually do- the need to be appreciated

I’ve watched my friends slip and fall over that bridge because they wanted ‘adoration’.

Self adoration was not sufficient.

Self sufficiency was not adored.

I knew I was a people pleaser when I

• Began to put people’s wants before my needs
• Allowed others take advantage of my kindness
• Avoided speaking my mind
• Found it hard to say no
• Stayed in unsatisfying relationships for them
• Compromised my beliefs and values of it meant they would like me.

I see people doing things they normally would never have done . The thirst and yearn for this attention turns them into this creature that I know they aren’t. I’ve cried at the thought of not meeting the expectations of people, the expectations of others.

“I can’t tell you the key to success

But the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”

– Ed Sheeran

– Dumebi xx